Goodbye, April

I can't believe tomorrow is May.  I can't believe I go back to work two weeks from today.  I can't believe Beatrice has been with us only three weeks.  It feels like a lifetime, and I mean that in the best of ways.  Who is this laughing, babbling, joyful child with whom we are blessed to spend our days?  Where is that tightly curled up, shy, quiet baby that was handed to me on April 8th? Here are some photos from the past couple of days.  She met her Uncle Dan, Aunt Kathleen, and cousins Truman and Hank last night and had a great time playing with all their neat stuff. She was definitely overwhelmed at first, but eventually warmed up.  Also are some photos of her feet since we're seeing this "lotus position" a bit less and I want to remember it.  A woman on the flight from Seoul to Chicago referred to Beatrice as "a lovely little Buddha" and each time she crosses her ankles neatly I am reminded of this.

Visits to the Library and Mama's School

Beatrice had a very full day today, with a brief visit to the library, where she met all the people on the Board with Auntie Louise as well as Mrs. Raymond, who had spent many months notarizing necessary papers for us throughout the process.  Then we went to my school after hours, figuring we'd see only a handful of people and ease her in to the WES family.  Well it turns out that dance rehearsal for an upcoming PTO event was happening and instead we were greeted by a dozen or more smiling and excited faces.  Beatrice handled it all in stride, and was even hamming it up a little bit in the office minutes later.  We are starting to realize that she a little celebrity wherever she goes.  Between this blog and our large circle of family and friends, it's hard to go anywhere without anyone recognizing Miss B! She is so fortunate to have an entire village that cares about us and her so much, and I am grateful that she has an easy-going personality that helps her handle all the attention. Tomorrow we go to meet Uncle Dan and family for the first time, and I'm excited to see how she reacts to cousins Truman, age 3, and Hank, age 2. Here are some photos of her this morning crawling around the living room and finding her reflection in the glass of the entertainment center. It scares me how much this girl enjoys looking at herself.

First Crayons, Headbands and Finger Puppets

You'll Never Know Dear How Much I Love You.....

One of the things I've been saddened by is that usually Beatrice goes to sleep, whether for a nap or for the night, screaming.  As we rock her to sleep, her eyes closing, hands rubbing her eyes or the sides of her head, she generally cries hard until she "goes under," which can take anywhere from thirty seconds to thirty minutes.  Well, the last two days this has finally started to change. She's had a few much calmer transitions to sleep and tonight was the best one yet.  We were listening to Putumayo Sing-Along, and "You are My Sunshine" was playing.  She had one finger in her mouth and had a finger from her other hand tracing my mouth, she was looking into my eyes as I was singing to her, she smiled and quickly closed her eyes, dragged the finger out of her mouth, and went to sleep peaceful and happy.  We had such a wonderful day together, and that was the exclamation point to it.   

Exploring the Yard

The gardens have exploded and our yard is alive with color.  We ventured out yesterday and today with the camera, and here's a sampling....

Morning Fun

Here are some videos we took the other morning before packing away the "guest bed."  Of course just when I pull out the camera to record the cuteness occurring, she stops, but here are a couple of glimpses of her crawling and giggling with Daddy.  Our IA pediatrician requested photos of her standing to check her foot and leg positions, and here are some of those too. She's starting to pull herself up to a stand more frequently, but her legs start to quiver a la Elvis if she's up too long. Yesterday, we had our first post-placement visit with our social worker, who was very happy with how she was doing and didn't have any concerns at this point. We are so fortunate to have the support of Wide Horizons and we are always surprised when talking to other parents at how little follow-up they get once home with their baby, as well as how little information and training they receive beforehand. We will be changing her name soon and then getting her a social security number, etc. Beatrice just cleaned her breakfast plate, which consisted of rice cereal, Cheerios (most of which ended up on the floor and then in Sula's belly), and banana, mango & tofu mixed together, which she loved! She also tried avocado yesterday, which she ate but less happily, and a little cheese. Slow but sure, her list of food exposures is really growing. It's forecasted to be in the 80's and sunny the next four days, so I hope we get some good outdoor time this weekend, and some photos with the daffodils and newly opened tulips in the yard.

Home with Mama

Anthony is teaching drawing class today, and has band practice, so it's lots of quiet, or not-so-quiet, time at home with Bizou and me. I took some photos of her in her new hair ties from Auntie Nicole. If the Teletubbies are looking for a new friend, I think she would do great! We had fun reading the books from Aunties T and B over and over, and I introduced her to the world of green beans. She was pretty happy with them. Here are some photos of the day, and one from one of our last days in Hanoi in which Beatrice was making it clear she does NOT want to wear her non la. Looking at the photo of her holding a brush, I can't believe it, but she really looks like a one-year old. I cannot say enough how amazed I am about how much she has changed, both physically and emotionally, in two short weeks.

Lola and Lolo Visit

I feel like I've been out of blog-land for ages, though it's only been 3 days.  Anthony's folks made a spontaneous trip to town, since they were in NJ anyway and decided to hop on up for two days, so we've been really busy.  Beatrice has handled all of it in great stride, I cannot even believe how flexible she is.  Honestly, my daughter is a better person that I will ever be.  She is patient, easy-going, friendly, trusting, and, most importantly, seems so genuinely happy (okay, that part is like me).  We have our first social worker visit tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes. Here's a picture of Bizou sacked out with Sula after dinner (these early evening jet-lag induced naps are disappearing, thank God), as well as one with Lola and her first doll, courtesy of Auntie Marianne.  She is sleeping well, by the way, taking 2-3 naps a day and, as of this posting, sleeping through the night.  She also is crawling like a marine and pulling herself up to a stand very quickly.  Her chewing is coming along.  She can now feed herself finger foods much more successfully, and has eaten chicken, rice, papaya, sweet potato, banana, yogurt, cheerios, applesauce, and spaghetti.  I need to introduce her to the world of green vegetables soon.  We celebrated Earth Day yesterday by making the leap into gDiapers.  So far, so good. I can't believe she's only been in our arms for two weeks.  She gets better and better every single day and her Papa and I are in totally amazement of her and of our luck that she entered our lives.

Doctor's Visit

Our adoption agency mandates a doctor's visit on the first business day after arriving home, so today we went and met with Dr. Howe.  He found her to be delightful and very healthy at quick glance.  No blood work or shots are allowed at this visit, so as to not traumatize her so soon after being home, and we have a full work-up of testing scheduled for May.  She's in the 5th-15th percentiles for height, weight, and head circumference by American charts, which is great.  Here she is during her morning nap.  

Sunday

Sula and Bizou are now great friends.  When she first saw the dog, she looked incredulous.  I swear she'D never seen any kind of animal in her life by her reaction.  She was a bit afraid of Sula, who is very calm around her so far, but now they have no problem being in each other's space.  Here we are this morning after breakfast.  I decided to see if Beatrice would accept a headband on her head more willingly than a bow, and you can see for yourself how that worked out. So we tried mini-clips instead and so far they're still in. For those of you who don't know, it was my life's dream to be a hairdresser until about fourth grade, so I now have this little guinea pig to work on. 

Home Sweet Home

We arrived safe and sound in Providence just before 5:00 last night. Martha and Erik and Maurice were all there to greet us, and they were a welcome sight. We drove home and our freshly cleaned house had been decorated with a beautiful poster and balloons thanks to Louise, John, and Mary Jane. Thank you to our dear friends and family! Beatrice slept the last leg from Chicago right until walking into her new home, but then got super sleepy again around 8:00 so I rocked her with a warm bottle and she went down without a complaint in her crib. I thought she'd only get a couple more hours and then wake up screaming and be up all night from the time change, but instead she slept until 1:30 a.m., was up for 90 minutes or so, then fell back asleep in our bed until 6:30 this morning. She's on her second nap of the day so far, and is doing well. We went for a walk to Victoria Station and she met lots of her adoring fans who have been waiting for a long time. She's such a trooper. Just now, I was giving her a bottle in the rocking chair in her room, Sula was laying beside us, the beautiful CD that T and B sent us was playing, and the whole universe was at a standstill. This is the life which we have dreamed about. We are so, so blessed and grateful.

Here are some photos from our last dinner out in Hanoi, from the plane, arriving in Providence and, finally, being introduced to Christmas, which has awaited her for almost four months.

Lost in Translation

I'm sitting her in the Seoul Korea airport and finally figured out how to read Korean and sign in to write a post. Actually, I clicked every possible thing and the last choice brought me to an English page. It is 10 a.m. on Friday here, which means it is 8 a.m. in Vietnam and 9 p.m. Thursday in Connecticut. We arrived at 5 in the morning or so and are more than 1/2 way done our 6-hour layover. I have to say this is THE nicest airport I have ever been to in my life. There is a KAL (Korea Airlines) lounge free to all, in which I just awoke from a 2-hour nap on a chaise lounge. The lounge ㅐㅍㄷ기ㅐㅐㅏㄴ 솓 먁랴딩 뭉 솓 ㅈㄷㅁ솓ㄱ ㅑㄴ ㅠㄷ며샤려ㅣ, 녀ㅜ 노ㅑㅜㅑㅜㅎ 뭉 ㅁ ㅔㅣㄷㅁㄴ뭇 40 ㅇㄷㅎㄱㄷㄷㄴ 조두 ㅈㄷ ㅣ뭉ㄷㅇ. 쏟ㄱㄷ ㅑㄴ ㅁ ㅏㅐㄱㄷ무 쳐ㅣ셕ㄷ ㅡㅕㄴ뎌ㅡ 새 ㄴㅅ개ㅣㅣ 소개ㅕ호, ㅔㅣㅁㅊㄷㄴ ㅈㅗㄷㄱㄷ ㅛㅐㅕ ㅊ무 ㅔ묘 랙 ㅁ ㅡ무ㅑ쳑ㄷ, ㅔㄷ야쳑ㄷ, ㅡㅁㄴㄴㅁㅎㄷ, ㄷㅅㅊ., 뇆ㄷㄱㄴ, ㄱㄷㄴㅅ멱뭇ㄴ, ㅕㅜㅠ디ㅑㄷㅍ뮤ㅣㄷ. ㅒㅜㄷ 리ㅐㅐㄱ 앶 ㅁㄱㄷ ㅗㅑ호 둥 ㅠㅐㅕ샤볃ㄴㅅ 뭉 ㄱㄷㄴㅅ멱뭇ㄴ 뭉 ㅑㅅ ㅑㄴ 솓 칟묻ㄴㅅ ㅔㅣㅁㅊㄷ ㅑ'ㅍㄷ ㄴㄷ두. ㅑ ㅁㅊ셔미ㅣㅛ ㅈㅁㄴ ㅈ미ㅏㅑㅜㅎ ㅁ개ㅕㅜㅇ ㅠㅁㄱㄷ래ㅐㅅ 쟈소 채ㅜ량둧ㄷ ㄷㅁ기ㅑㄷㄱ. 무ㅛㅈ묘, ㅠㄷㅁㅅ걏ㄷ ㅑㄴ 내ㅕㅜㅇ ㅁ닏데 ㅁㄽㄷㄱ ㅐㅟㅛ ㅎㄷㅅ샤ㅜㅎ ㅅ재 ㅙㅕㄱㄴ ㅐㅜ ㅅ도 략ㄴㅅ ㅣㄷㅎ. ㅉㄷ 양 ㅜㅐㅅ ㅎㄷㅅ ㅁ ㅠㅁㄴ냐ㅜㄷㅅ ㅁㄴ ㅈㄷㄱㄷ ㄷ텓ㅊㅅㄷㅇ, 내 ㅈㄷ ㅡㅁㅇㄷ 애 ㅐㅜ ㅐㅕㄱ ㅣ멘, 뭉 ㅜㅐㅅ ㅍㄷ교 ㅈ디ㅣ. 쏟 ㅜㄷㅌㅅ ㅣㄷㅎ ㅈㄷ 쟈ㅣㅣ ㅗㅁㅍㄷ ㅁ ㅠㅁㄴ냐ㅜㄷㅅ, 소무ㅏ 행 ㅠㄷㅊ면ㄷ 12 ㅙㅕㄱㄴ 재ㅕㅣㅇ ㅠㄷ ㅁ ㅣㅐㅜㅎ 샤ㅡㄷ ㅐㄹ ㅗㄱ ㄴ벼ㅑ그ㅑㅜㅎ.

Signing Off from Hanoi

We leave for the airport in a few hours and it is time to pack up the computer.  I'll let Beatrice have the last word for our travel journal.

Thursday morning

We leave the hotel in about 13 hours, and I am up enjoying some quiet time while the rest of my family is still sound asleep.  We had a great night last night at Suzanne Watzman's place in the West Lake section of the city.  She has a beautiful home and daughter and her cook whipped us a delicious meal for us too.  She is an artist whose main home is in Cambridge, MA but she spends time intermittently in Hanoi trying to get her business going of making gorgeous bags.  We hope to see her again today, as Anthony is helping her out with getting some advertising going. We started packing last night and I can't believe it but we somehow have replaced pretty much every square inch of space in our luggage that I thought would be vacated by all the gifts and donations we brought and left here.  Guess the shopping I can do today is automatically limited.  While I'd hoped to go out to the Van Phuc Silk Village, 15 km out of town, I don't think it'll happen. I guess we'll stay close to the hotel today, try to nap, do a final trip to the lake, and go around the neighborhood with our video camera trying to catch some sights and sounds both for our memories and to share with Bizou. I can't tell you how melancholy we are to leave here.  We were sitting down in the hotel lounge yesterday at the table near the window which is right on the street and I was watching all the activity on the other side of the glass and I just started to cry.  I am so in love with this city and its people and its difficult-yet-simple way of life.  One of the waitresses who is so kind and loves to hold Beatrice while we eat came over to us and asked, in her very shy English, when we were leaving.  We told her "tomorrow" and she had a tear in her eyes.  She mustered up the courage and words to say what dozens of others have said "She is lucky, lucky baby."  We again repeated that we are luck too, all three of us are lucky, and she smiled and walked away.  It is so hard not to give all the remaining money away to the staff here who works so hard and is probably severely underpaid by our standards, although I think a hotel job is a fairly good one overall, to the people on the street who sit outside their stalls twelve or fifteen hours a day hoping someone will come in and spend a few dong each day, to the disfigured folks hanging out by the church with an inverted non la (conical hat) hoping a passerby will drop some coins or dollars.  For a million reasons that are mostly based on luck, we have so much of what they have to work so hard to get a morsel of, money. But, believe me, they have a sense of community, love for one another, and knowledge of hard-work that I can only dream about.  We will do our very best to try to pass on these values to Beatrice, but the reality is that they are hard to come by when one wants for very little.  I asked Anthony if he thought it possible to live successfully and happily in both this culture and at home, and we decided it would be very difficult. Something must be sacrificed for the other. There's little doubt that were Beatrice to stay in an orphange, her life here would be difficult and her options totally limited.  But I do not for one minute believe that the average child here in Hanoi has any lower quality of life than if s/he lived in the U.S.  Assuming s/he were loved, fed, and sent to school, and had enough money to cover basic medical care, then I don't think it's a better life, only a different life.  I could go on and on but I keep editing and rewriting and much of this is too personal for a blog, so I'll end with a list of things I'll miss most about Vietnam:

-a nightlife that never ends and an endless list of things to do;

-watching people of all different "classes" and means mingle together on the street;

-the way the traffic appears to be totally chaotic, but ends up having the grace and movement of an aquarium that I could watch all day;

-the way men's belts go all the way around them to the middle of their back;

-muzak;

-the perfect safety and trust that exists everywhere we go;

-the architecture featuring tall and very narrow buildings, many stories high;

-the scooters and the resourcefulness people show in carrying everything from their entire families to chickens to ladders to a generator on them;

-the food, especially egg rolls for breakfast, and drinking coconut water right from the fruit;

-seeing an item being made in the same shop you're buying it from;

-seeing people in long pants, long sleeves and a jacket on an 85-degree humid day;

-the Vietnamese "squat" which I may have been able to do at one point in my life, but never again; 

-the genuine love and care in a stranger's face as they look at my daughter; and

-knowing that at any moment Beatrice can be surrounded by faces that look like her own.

Here are some photos from our dinner last night, of the bib that I'd yet to put on her, and of my favorite moment of this entire trip, the first time she was placed in my arms.