Awaiting me under my pillow......

A couple nights ago, I went to bed and for some reason slid my hand between my two pillows, only to feel something sitting there.  It was an envelope meant just for me:

Lucky me, I had a secret visitor pop by earlier that evening, and inside the envelope was a drawing that just oozed love and hugs.  Yup, lucky, lucky me....

"I miss you Pepere. I'm sorry you died."

Those were the words that Beatrice asked me to write on the little card accompanying her cupcake flower arrangement which sat inside his casket and looked something like this (except we had fresh maraschinos on ours):

A couple of times a month, Pepere treated us to dinner, most often at "The 99" and the standing tradition was for him to give Bea the cherries from his pink lemonade.  Over the past 18 months, she would bring him some as well, so this exchange of cherries, and their common love of them, was a special bond.

My dad died early in the morning on July 17th, hours after we paid our final visit to him in the hospital. We drove there straight from Storyland, believing he still had a few more days, and looking forward to spending those with him at his home, where he was to return on the 18th.  He had a different plan.

Beatrice, your Pepere loved you very much.  From the moment he met you,  his last grandchild and only granddaughter, you made his eyes light up.   In the beginning he often referred to or introduced you proudly as "our little Minh Hanh who came all the way to us from Vietnam," but eventually you became "little Bebe." When we visited him on Saturday and he was in and out of confusion, he was clear as a bell as to who you were and that familiar sparkle was in his eyes.  

I don't know what you'll remember about your Pep.  There is so much you will never know since you came to Pep when he was a very old man, buy I will do my best to fill you in on all the stories in my memory over time, so that you can have a more complete picture of who he was. So what will you remember from your own experience of  four years with him? That he had a walker and you took pride in retrieving it for him and unfolding it? That we ate out a lot with him and he loved food? That I often came home late from work because I was doing some errand for him? Perhaps you have a vision of him sitting on his beloved porch with Atticus nearby? Or do you remember the smell of his balsam pine incense burning? Will you think of him each time you eat kettle corn, a favorite shared treat during our many farmers' market runs? Maybe you won't remember any of these details, but I do hope you remember the feeling you had in his presence, because you were very adored and loved by him. 

I want to thank you Bea for how grown-up you acted at the wake and funeral.  I will never forget how unphased you were as you prayed and looked at his body in the open casket.  You were perplexed and disappointed that you couldn't see his legs and wondered why.  It's a good question and I do not know the answer.  You asked for one more look before you came back to the house with Truman and Hank to be babysat by Molly and Kate while the grownups greeted those who came to pay their respects. On the morning of the funeral you were so diligent about getting tissues for anyone who you saw crying, and you and your cousins approached the coffin so solemnly and respectfully when it was time for your final goodbye.  I never thought of having a camera at a wake, but that was a moment I would give anything to have captured, Pep's three youngest grandchildren looking over him so dearly.  Thank you too for your perfect behavior at the mass, for carefully bringing up the gifts to the altar, and for sitting so still on my lap at the burial (except for the moment you jumped out of my lap when the soldiers fired their guns.)

You asked me yesterday "When are you going to be happy again?" I explained to you that people can have lots of feelings at once mixed together, like scrambled eggs, and that even though I was sad at that moment I was still happy too, happy that Pepere's not sick anymore and not hurting and not struggling to walk, and you replied "I don't have scrambled eggs in my heart, I just have one feeling, just sad." I promised you that the sadness would get a little smaller each day and one day it would be almost gone and that we'd be able to think about Pepere with smiles and laughs.  You told me I was "the sweetest most amazing daughter of him ever" and it's clear you're learning how to comfort people and how to say the right thing. 

When we went to Pepere's house yesterday, you took a few treasures as mementos:  a porcelain bell which belonged to Memere, a fairy doll whose origin I cannot fathom, a silver hand-held mirror that I believe was MY Memere's, and some plastic measuring cups, which were your first "toy" at Pepere's house.  Excellent choices.  May you use them well, remember where they came from, and remember even a bit of the bright and shining light of the man who was your Pepere. 

Buttonwood Farm

Goodbye, Pepere

Storyland

We headed to Storyland in New Hampshire and met up with the Chazanoffs for one overnight.  Beatrice had such a wonderful time.  We visited this park at just the right age and she ate it right up.  Here's our little Heidi:

Pretending to milk this cow fits in so well since we're now on book #5 of the Little House series and she's just obsessed with anything to do with farms, prairies, and big storms!

These cutouts were all fun, and Bea was just the right height to stick her head into each of them:

                                                    

On the way home, she declared this raft ride as the number one thing she wants to do again if we return some day:

Here come the drowned rats:

The first sighting of Cinderella was oh so dramatic:

Bea and Rachel raced up to her castle to get a glimpse of the magic wand, the glass slippers, and to get a chance to sit on her throne:

Here are the ballerinas posing outside the entrance:

 

And here's Queen Bea sitting on her throne:

And holding the princesses's hand!

Fitting so well into the pumpkin coach:

Back at the hotel, the girls enjoyed a swim in the pool, and Rachel gave Anthony a lesson in how to make Ryan giggle:

                                               

This was the third-ever sleepover for the girls, but I think the first that really truly qualified in that they stayed up until nearly midnight gabbing and didn't leave for parent rooms all night!  The first of many, I suspect:

On the second day, we ran into Tink and Red Riding Hood:

The Cinderella tea party was a huge hit.  The guests got a tea party etiquette lesson, had a conversation with the princess, had "tea" with fruit and a cookie, and listened to a story. A dream come true!

How old are you????

The last thing we did was ride the antique cars, and with Bea at the helm....let's just say I was glad to be in the back seat.....Thankfully we have eleven more years to hone these skills:

For now though, she meets the criteria to get this official driver's license, authorized by Humpty Dumpty himself:

The Chazes followed close behind!

Bye-bye Storyland.  We may just see you again next summer!

Then & Now

Referral Day:  7/11/08

Ocean City, MD:  7/5/13

Few more photos from the beach

I thought I'd consolidated all the photos from vacation, but I missed a few good ones from Anthony's cell phone.  Here were the three kids pig-piling in the living room.  It happened dozens of times and miraculously there wasn't a bumped head or tear!

We were fortunate to catch up with cousin Joseph one afternoon and went out for sushi and ice cream:

Wrastlin' Gators at Thunder Lagoon!

Bea and I have been on this carousel together in Rehoboth every summer.  This year she picked the bench:

The boardwalk at dusk:

This girl knows how to flash the pearly whites for a camera!

My sister-in-law Kathleen, me, brother Dan, sister Louise, and the three little cousins:

Maryland Vacation

Just back from ten days away from home.  And just put my daughter to bed after she was crying huge crocodile tears about missing Maryland and wanting to move there, so obviously we had a blast.  Here are some highlights from the trip, selected quickly from over a hundred photographs.  Road trip to Lolo and Lola's house:

Ninth hour in the car:

We spent two days at Anthony's folks' main house and visited his sister and family on her 41st birthday.  The girls headed out to catch fireflies and here's Bea with her first ever catch!

                                        

                                                    

                                                         Crazy girlies jumping with joy!

                                                     

                                       Lucy & Matt, The Forondas, and us:

After a sleepover with the girls, and destroying Lola's living room with some awesome blanket forts the next morning, we then  headed to the beach house and spent 24 hours just the three of us.  Mini-golf was one of the first things we did:

The next day, Lolo and Lola, as well as my sister, and my brother and his family, joined us.  Sula had her first vacation in a couple years, and enjoyed chasing rabbits, getting some long walks, eating lots and lots of handouts from many a hand, and trying on my sister-in-law's flip flops:

Here are the three musketeers enjoying a dessert called "DIRT."  

Crazy Elton John glasses are around yet another summer!

This picture represents three things that shocked and frightened me. A) My daughter is a carnie wanna-be...she loves those ridiculous games,even more than rides! ; B) She chose this redneck "Pirate's Booty" game at Rehoboth beach as a must-do; C) She picked up that rifle, aimed, and shot four for four. Dang!

Here's the only pic I got from the water park Thunder Lagoon in Fenwick Island.  The kids had a blast, but Bea wouldn't go near the big slides.  And my cautious girl was the only kid in the park with floaties!  

She fit just right under the Dumser Dairyland ice cream ordering counter:

                     We visited the beach a few times, and the fun for Bea consisted of digging holes, filling holes, refilling holes,  avoiding waves, and posing ridiculously for cell phone pics with cousin Hankie:

     She is going to go through some serious withdrawal after all this fun cousin time!

Here she is at Assateague with Daddy:

Making sand angels:

Out to lunch with Lola and Hank:

On the Fourth of July we rolled around this ice cream ball for 30 minutes making some delicious, albeit incredibly soft, vanilla ice cream.  Fun!

Lolo and Lola posed for this picture before heading back home:

My sister treated the three kids to a pirate's adventure boat ride and they had a blast:

Bea forewent the patch/sword/costume and chose this random princess crown necklace instead:

On our first night, she did her first ever go kart ride with Daddy:

And after nearly giving up, we were treated to a visit with seven wild horses at Assateague:

Can't cope with the long ride home!  (in all seriousness, both she and Sula were awesome crammed in the back of the Civic.  We still have yet to pull out any electronics for car trips and Bea entertained herself today  for hours with a stuffed mermaid in a shell bag that she bought with her own money at Candy Kitchen. She had her eye on it from day #1 and finally was able to get it on the last day.)

Card games, late nights, movies, constant entertainment and attention, ridiculous amounts of junk food, loads of laughs, surrounded by loving family...no wonder there were tears.  See you next year beach house!!!