T&B, this one's for you....

Apparently an elderly British woman (I think her name is Antoinette) takes over my husband's body, comes to our home on a regular basis, and exchanges gossip with Beatrice over tea.

We have a video of the present being opened too, but I can't download it for some reason. She is just IN LOVE with this set! Wish we were ushering in 2010 together. Tomorrow certainly won't measure up to last year except that we have our dear babies with us once and for all. Happy New Year!

A Christmas Without Expectation?

That's what Beatrice had....a Christmas with no expectations whatsoever, and it was beautiful to witness. She oohed and aaahed over her presents and everyone else's, in some cases even before they were fully opened. And, despite the fact that we gave her very few things, she was more than complete long before the last was given. May just a glimmer of that contentment remain with her every Christmas and always. The only glitch in the holiday is that our furnace ran out of water, unbeknownst to us, and had stopped late Christmas eve, so we awoke to Santa's presents in a 53 degree house. Fortunately Anthony figured out the problem quickly and by breakfast time we were toasty again.

We are leaving for a 2-day trip to NYC in a couple of hours, but I wanted to clear out the camera and post something before we leave. It's been a wonderful week with Anthony's folks in town, three nights of parties, and a refrigerator still full of yummy food at which we keep pecking away. It will be back-to-reality in many ways come Wednesday, but these past several days have been like a time warp, in a good way, a very special time, and I will always remember B's first Christmas with us as filled with wonder.

Sometimes I miss Hanoi

Walkin' in a Winta Wundaland

Last night we got about 15-20" of fluffy snow ("no" as pronunced by B.) dumped on us and Beatrice finally spent some real time in it today while we shoveled out. When I stuck her straight into it, it was about up to her chest. She walked around the cleared paths, sat in the snow, and "mowed" the snow in the garage with her pink plastic lawn mower. She was happier than during her first glimpse of the frozen white stuff a couple of weeks ago, but certainly wasn't upset when we said it was time to come in. Here are some photos from the day and several video clips that I finally downloaded off of my little camera, some from October and November, and one from just the other day when my incredibly talented friend Benedetta's handmade original Christmas coat arrived for Beatrice. It is an heirloom, a piece of art, and fits to a T! And it's too bad I didn't have the camera ready for the FIRST time we opened the box Ben, because I swear she gave a big "WOW!" and smile and was more than eager to put it right on but I'm so ridiculous, I made Anthony get the camera and I shut the box and started all over again, hence the "no, no" answer to "do you want to try it on?" I also love the one where she's doing her daily chore of putting her clothes in the laundry basket and she does so in the midst of our MESS. Do what we SAY, not what we DO!

"Stranger Face" Reappears

As a Christmas present for my dad and sister, I've been hoping to get a photograph of the five grandchildren altogether, a feat which turned out to be pretty difficult to schedule. However, last night I accomplished this goal. My 23-year old nephew Nathan, 17-year old nephew Shawn, Beatrice and I headed to Truman and Hank's house and I snapped about 75 shots as quickly as I could. I knew it would be tricky to get three children ages 4 and under to all look at the camera and smile at the same time, especially since Anthony was unavailable so I had to take the pictures as well. What I did NOT plan on was for my daughter to "pull a 'tude" over being with Nathan who, in all fairness, she's seen only a couple of times in her life, and not at all for several months. When Nathan and Shawn arrived at our house, she immediately got "shy" (aka "back off and don't mess with me!") and I forced the issue of her going to him, which was obviously the wrong approach (and one I've never done) since she got in a mood from there on out the extent of which we'd not yet seen. She sat with him in our living room while shooting a glare/death-look at me, then sat in the back seat with Shawn for the hour-long ride staring out the window, refusing eye contact with anyone and not saying a peep. Nathan was actually a little scared by this 22-pounder. I remember when she sent a similar chill-down-your-spine warning look to our dear tour guide Thanh in Hanoi and he put his hand over his heart in genuine horror! She warmed up only a degree or two when we arrived at Dan's house, but then when it was time for photos, gave a "stranger face" for the first 20 shots or so (see photo #2), then sat perfectly still but smile-less for the next 30, and only when I handed the camera to my sister-in-law and got on my hands and knees and acted completely ridiculous did she muster up a joyful look, but only for seconds. Fortunately there were a couple decent shots in that brief time period that we could use. My daughter just turned 19-months old and I actually used the words "Drop the attitude NOW!" with her. Certainly made me wonder how many times I will use that in her life. Wow. I've been a counselor for 18-years. My population is about 3/4 boys. Passive-Agressive is NOT my area of strength. Guess I'd better learn quick! Anthony reminds me often that our daughter is a Taurus, the sign of the bull. We've always known she has a mind of her own, can be quite independent, and shows vulnerability only in front of Anthony and me at this point. We saw in early photos of her this serious face with emotions ranging from sad to p-o'd as she glared at the men taking her pictures. My intuitive friends described her as "spunky," "stubborn," and "a little sassafrass" from those same photos. Others described her as "sweet." One thing is sure...Beatrice gives nothing away to those whom she sees as "strangers," nothing, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. We remember quite well the same looks she gave us the first day or two in Vietnam. It actually is a quality that reassured me immediately about attachment issues, the hallmark of which is a child who will be charming and go to anyone even upon first meeting. No problems there. Anthony and I were talking the other day about how our daughter has met and exceeded all of our hopes and expectations. He also said that she is far more "complex" than he ever knew a "baby" could be and most of his experiences to compare were with boys, most of whom her age seem so different and much less complicated. I love Beatrice for her intelligence and her determination, I love that she's a strong little woman, admire her resilience, understand her reluctance to trust, and am in awe of her ability to declare boundaries and communicate her feelings to people without saying a word. We will work hard to channel her iron will into the best of uses. I turn 42 next week. Good thing I've been resting up for 41 years!

Invest in a Girl

http://www.girleffect.org/video
Watch this video whose link I found on Mia Farrow's blog. Read the stats at the end. Go to "donate now" and look at the awesome programs that some people have already started. I've always been partial to charities whose focus are on girls and women but ever since becoming a mother to a daughter, I am driven like never before.

12 Days 'Til Christmas, and yes I trimmed her hair (last 2 photos)

Snow Day

A few inches fell last night prompting school closures. Yay! Unfortunately it turned to rain and made a messy slush so we still have no Beatrice-plays-in-snow pictures. We did however use the day to decorate the tree and I started writing out Christmas cards. Last night we set up the manger and Beatrice loves hearing the "Silent Night" music box built into it. My Memere Celina and I set that creche up each year together and it's still mesmerizing. The same Memere, who died when I was a teenager, made many beaded ornaments back in the 70's and today Beatrice was most interested in touching and hanging those. I threw out the name "Celina" back when we were brainstorming girls names and it was on the possibility list. They certainly seem to have a connection over Christmas. This was the first time we decorated a tree in three
years. We watched Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Charlie Brown Christmas afterward. It felt really good and it's amazing how all the memories come flooding back. By the way....as of today we can add "ho, ho, ho" to B's word list!

First Snow

We awoke to an inch or two of icy white this morning and it was breathtakingly beautiful on the trees and ground. Unfortunately I have no photos to prove it, as we headed out with the video camera instead and I'm not nearly adept enough to edit out a section that would take less than an eternity to load up on this site. Instead here's a photo of B's getup this afternoon after a failed attempt at a nap. (Because of that it is now 6:30 and she is hopefully in for the night after literally bobbing her head into her dinner plate with fatigue). She got this adorable scarf/hat set from Auntie Nicole and she is in love with it, carrying the scarf everywhere and keeping the hat on for much of the day. It's too early to tell how she really feels about snow but it wasn't love at first sight. I don't think we have an Olympic skier on our hands. She was mildly amused in the beginning and liked to watch me touching it and Sula frolicking, but had little interest herself and just cried to go inside after a pretty brief time. I think it'll be more of a test when she sees it actually falling. Another first today is that there was a TV program that she actually got into. It was Elmo's Christmas Miracle or some TV movie like that and we came in in the last 45 minutes but she was really into it. I'm not pushing or even hoping she starts to enjoy TV, and we very rarely even turn it on, but this afternoon I was in the mood for a Christmas special and there it was. Just another way she seems to be growing up so quickly.

Pumpkin Bread, Multi-Tasking, and The Incredible Vietnamese Squat

Christmas Carol

Yesterday I did the single-mom thing from after school 'til bedtime as Anthony was teaching a class then went to yoga. Beatrice and I were on the couch, she nestled between my legs as we read her new batch of winter-themed library books one by one. I had the radio on in the background, set to the station which is playing Christmas music nonstop. I was in the middle of reading aloud when all of a sudden Josh Grobin's version of O Holy Night came on. Immediately my throat shut and I choked on my words. That Christmas song is my favorite, and one that has a rich tradition in my family. My maternal grandfather, who died when I was two months old, was the choir director and cantor at his church for years and years. My mom often spoke of his singing this song and she would choke up when telling about it or close her eyes and get quiet when she heard it being sung, like she was being transported to another place and time. She sang or hummed it to me countless times. My uncles had a barbershop quartet and they sang an a capella version of it, half in English and half in French, at my brother Dan's wedding ten years ago which was one of the most beautiful musical performances I remember. My uncle Charlie has soloed this piece at midnight mass numerous times. My mom's extended family are all singers and we sing carols together Christmas night. We joke through Partridge in a Pear Tree and Here Comes Santa Claus, inevitably miscount the number of "pum's" in Little Drummer Boy, and no one can ever remember the words to O Tannenbaum or Aulde Lang Syne. But, when O Holy Night comes on, it is sacred and the "fall on your knees" or "peuple a genoux" refrain is powerful every time. It is that rich in Archambault tradition, my maternal bloodline. My mom died seven years ago this past September. Hard to believe. There was a time when I thought I could not possibly have a child without her around, that it would be too painful to NOT have here to watch her grandchild grow. Now I have a daughter, an incredible daughter. My mom was an amazing "Memere" to the two grandchildren she got to know, and I know that the three who have joined the family since her death have a less quality life because they do not have her in it. I was born on Christmas and it was our holiday, my mom's and mine that is. She was a December baby and she gave birth to two others. Each year she would recount the story of my birth to me and how we spent Christmas Day together, just the two of us. She told me, as a good mother should, that it was the best Christmas of her life. So this season is now one with mixed emotions for me, the time of year I miss Ma the most. How I wish she were here to share Beatrice's first Christmas and how I wish she could see me be a Mama. Yet yesterday somehow on that couch, Beatrice's memere was around, just for a moment. And so was my daughter, who is perfect to me in every way, as I was to my Mama. And I felt filled with the Christmas spirit, excited to pass on the deep and meaningful Christmas traditions to my child. And it all felt so right.

All-turkeyed out!

We arrived home last night at 6 p.m. after a very busy, full, and fun five days in Maryland/VA. Our schedule was jam-packed with two Thanksgiving parties/dinners, a "leftover" party on Friday with my brother-in-law's family, a visit with Samantha and her family on Saturday, a family baptism and party on Sunday, a trip to the newest Air & Space museum out at Dulles airport, and a dinner party/sleepover at my sister-in-law's Sunday night. Whew! Beatrice was an incredible traveler and slept very well at nighttime overall. Much better than when we traveled in July! She met dozens of family members who adored her and showered her with love, and got to spend some quality time with her grandparents, Lolo and Lola. Her first Thanksgiving dinner was at Tita Dory's house with the Martin side of the family where she enjoyed delicious bluefish, turon, pansit, adobo, and deneguan (I'm probably not spelling that one right, but she loved it.) At the second party she had the more traditional foods and she delighted in those as well. Saturday was a highlight because we met up with Agnes and Lucious for Pho where we met adorable and shy Samantha, B's "sister" from the orphanage. I must say that she was pretty curious about her and more interested in her than she generally is of children her own age. I hope we can keep in touch with her and with some of the other babies with whom she lived for the first year of her life. As she gets older, it might be a comfort to have that little glimpse into her beginnings. Sunday was beautiful baby Dominic's baptism and it was a gorgeous and warm day in northern Virginia. At the party afterward, she eventually passed out, took her tights off, and took a good long nap in Dominic's carseat. I was so proud of how she handled herself with all the new people and places. She is really growing up, acting like a true toddler, sitting and feeding herself, playing with the other kids, adding a few new words to her vocabulary (Lola, Lolo, wah(water), what?, wow, the beginnings of "I love you," and may may, which we have no idea the meaning of) and just looking so big next to the kids who are younger than she is. We were all happy to get back home and Beatrice was excited to see Sula and hunker down with some of her fave toys. She slept like a rock from 7:30-6:30, and I did pretty much the same. Now a new month is upon us and we can focus on enjoying the Christmas season. Soon we'll be out selecting a tree and decorating the house, which we haven't done for two years since we've been away. It'll be so good to have a Christmas at home and start new traditions with our family.