Bac Lieu Orphans

I've been following a few blogs of people in the U.S. who still are awaiting approval to travel to pick up their babies in Vietnam after over a year of being matched. There are still a handful of children, all over two years old now, who are stuck and cannot be united with their families. Needless to say these families are losing their minds. I know at least one family had to walk away because of the uncertainty. I can't imagine how painful it must have been to come to the conclusion that they would never actually have a life with the child they had been matched with, a fear that I barely allowed to enter my mind while we were waiting and waiting, but was there nonetheless. It's hard to know whether the "blame" rests in the hands of the VN government or ours, or a combination of the two. All I know is that, with an unlucky turn of fate, this could have been us, one of these children could have been Beatrice. The future of these children, should they remain in Vietnam, is grim. The adoptive parents have decided to do what they can and take turns volunteering over there, trying to stimulate the children in different ways, nourish them, and expose them to English as they cling to the hope that things will be resolved. Amazing people. They may never bring their children home, but they are trying desperately to better the lives of these children, the children that they love and consider their own. I watched the video below and, while the province, orphanage, and adoption agency are all different, so much was familiar to me...the sounds, the courtyard, the linoleum....I am so, so, so grateful and, in Vietnamese terms, so very very "lucky."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QELsGAoianQ

What Kind of Fool....

Puts a bookshelf at her child's level and expects said child NOT to pull them all off on a daily basis? Yup, that'd be me. You cannot imagine how many books and small toys per day get pulled off and the really lucky ones get shoved between the wooden bars on the landing onto the stairway or into the foyer one floor down. Didn't think of that when we were planning the bookcase and toys there. Oops.

Big milestone this weekend....no more rear-facing car seat. Beatrice has been busting out of the one we had, which went from base to base in each car and we now have two beautiful seats that are SOOOOO much easier to get her in and out of. (Thank you Lallys and Dan & Kathleen!) Another milestone....she made it through an entire church service without having to be taken out. (it helps that we have new priests and the masses are 15-25 minutes shorter, but still!) I almost gave her a donut in true Catholic fashion! Couple other things that were cool this weekend were that she is really starting to laugh and giggle at things. Sula just cracks her up, and believe me Sula is NOT trying. Any trick she does, any time she scratches herself, or if I put a "hat" on Sula, Beatrice thinks it's the best thing. Also, she really enjoys her swing now and was signing "more" many times today, not wanting to stop and giggling wildly when I was tickling her toes. The other noteworthy thing this weekend, not as cool, is that she's taken to screaming her lungs out ten or twenty or thirty times a day when she's unhappy about something. She directs it mainly at me, so I can't help but think this is payback for going back to work. This too shall pass I'm sure, and I'm trying my best to ignore it, ignore her, or try to redirect her, but I'll tell you this girl can leave a humming sound on an eardrum. I think toddlerhood is in full-swing. I recalled my mother's story about the ob-gyn asking her how she felt about having a baby at age 41 (that was me). My mother replied "I'm not worried at all. It's having a 2-year old at 43 that worries me!" I hear you Ma! Which is why I'm heading to bed at 8:38 right now......

Please remember to comment below with your email, or write to me separately, if you want to continue to read the blog.......

Going Private

I've decided to make this blog semi-private, in that readers will have to log in with their email address. This way, I will know exactly who is reading and people doing a random google search cannot have access. So....if you'd like to continue reading, please leave a comment below OR email me ASAP with your email address that you'll use to log in, and I will add you to the list of accepted readers.

A Day with Daddy Wears a Girl Out

Beatrice had a rough dinner-time since she was so overtired today from two way-too-short naps. When she gets tired or frustrated, she pulls at and rubs her hair/head, so it resulted in this lovely "do." Also, very annoyed, she pushed away the cup of water I was offering her to drink, and the water went flying and splashed her right in the face. You can imagine how much that helped the situation! She set a new record, being sound asleep by 7:25, without even being rocked.

I title this one "Napless in Putnam"

Then she mustered a "cheese" for the camera, flashing her large new molar

Survivor: 2009-2010 School Year, WES

So I've got 2 days under my belt and all the Forondas have survived. In fact, better than survived...I walked into the house yesterday afternoon and NPR was blaring the music from Apocalypse Now and Beatrice was smiling away as she practiced her walking. She came right over to me, chatting, and greeted with me a big hug, then wanted to get right back down and busy again. We decided the moment was so ridiculously dramatic that we should catch it on video, so here goes....

Is It Me?

Or has my baby grown this summer? Here's are photos from June and from within the week. I keep looking at her and unexpectedly seeing a toddler. She just carries herself stronger, is so expressive, and acts like, well, not-a-baby anymore. I can't even imagine what she'll be like next summer as a 2+ year-old. My season as a stay-at-home mom is ending as I return to work tomorrow. I have been so blessed to share each day with Beatrice, and I already look forward to our time together each morning before school and from 4:00 through bedtime each day, as well as of course weekends and vacation time. Here are some of my favorite Beatrice moments/memories/things of summer '09:

-introducing her to the beach and the ocean

-introducing her to whipped cream, then ice cream, then vanilla peanut butter hot fudge sundaes (a girl has to work up to such things)

-holding her hand and having her walk by my side

-her first amusement park ride

-her anklet and bracelet

-her size 2 lime green Crocs

-Five new glistening teeth

-holding her passed-out in my lap as our rented van crawled across the George Washington Bridge at midnight

-learning to climb up and down stairs and get off of things safely

-watching her share food with Jonathan at Thai Place

-singing "Turn, Turn, Turn" to her along with Pete Seeger

-sharing her with family, especially her seven cousins, and some of my cousins we rarely see

-how affectionate she has become, and she can't kiss one of us without then immediately going to kiss the other (even if said person is asleep!)

-enjoying her swingset

-eating fruit, fruit, and more fruit

-her signing wildly and voicing "MOH!" after tasting corn on the cob

-watching her discover and enjoy pretend play, which started with plastic stove in Ocean City

-weekly trips to the Farmer's Market

-swimming at the lake

-hearing her sweet voice as she greets people with a long drawn-out "Hiiiiiii"

-seeing how much she thinks before she acts, a quality we certainly hope remains

-her first steps across the floor on our last full weekday together

Anthony and I are as ready as can be for our new roles starting tomorrow. He said he's really looking forward to his time alone with her, and I'm getting a touch of the usual enthusiasm I get each fall when I return to school. I am grateful that we are able to have her remain at home full-time. She is so content at this point soaking in the love of two adults who absolutely adore her, I can see it in her face, and she loves nothing more than when the three of us do a family kiss. We are her entire world right now. In four short months and counting, a family was formed. We missed the first 2/3 of her life, and don't want to miss anything else for as long as we can make that happen. So have fun, Daddy and Bizou, and remember Mama is just a phone call or a ten-minute drive away!

The Best Laid Plans....

Well, we have a video of Beatrice taking 2 steps on the iPhone, but haven't downloaded it, but no dramatic walking like last night. One thing seems certain, she's not going to walk when or because we want her to do so! Anyway, it's too hot to do anything.....

So the plan today was to go pick up Sula's friend Tucker, let them play in the house while Beatrice napped, then do a short hike in the woods along the river. After returning Tucker home, I was to bathe Sula since she hasn't had a bath in longer than I will admit publicly, and it's the last thing on my "to do list" for vacation. I called Martha to say I was coming and it turns out their day had changed and Tucker was no longer available. Anthony said "let's just go for a walk along the river walk" and we debated driving there and keeping it short or walking, making it a long walk. I thought we'd decided to drive, but when I got outside he already had B in the stroller ready to go, so I put the plastic bag, egg crates, and money back (I was going to stop by the co-op for eggs had we driven) but forgot to switch off from the extendable leash to the usual one. Sula has major "animal issues" in that she wants to kill anything four legged, especially when one is in motion, so I do the real leash and harness when I'm expecting to run into other animals and the extendable when it's just us or the walk is shorter. I've been told many times to get rid of that leash, but it's great in that she can go into the woods to do her business and have some free reign if we have open land. So, we headed out the door, me with Sula on the leash and Anthony pushing B in the stroller. Our first half mile was tough because Sula was on her worst behavior, pulling, spotting animals, and needing constant redirection. Shortly after we ran into a Husky and Doberman, Anthony took over as he generally has better luck with Sula when walking. We headed onto the river walk, still saw a few dogs, but things were going better. I mentioned "why don't we let Sula take a little swim since I'm going to give her a bath today anyway?" Anthony was reluctant but soon after headed to the bank of the river and, thanks to the handy extendable leash, let Sula head down the tree-root covered slope into the shallow water/rocks. She was so happy drinking up the water and gradually went deeper and deeper so she could cool off. I encouraged Anthony to move a little to the left to give her more lead and that's when it happened. The leash got stuck on a branch so Sula couldn't come back to us when called. We tried and tried and finally I realized I had to go down there and help her out. I went down a few yards away from where Anthony was standing because the bank was less steep for me to descend and then Sula tried to come to me and matters got worse. Eventually she was up to her neck and treading water and couldn't move. I threw my shoes up on the grass and carefully headed into the water, determined not to dive in if possible. She was really hooked on there, so I started walking in and leaned onto the branch that she was caught on and then, you guessed it, the branch broke, freeing Sula and plunging me face-first into the water. Thank God it was me and not Anthony because if the roles were reversed I'd still be rolling on the ground laughing hysterically, but my husband is a more compassionate person. I was fine, except for a small cut on my toe, and for the fact that I was drenching wet and we were about a mile's walk from home. Sula came out but a hunk of branch had wedged into her harness on her belly so there really was no way she could have freed herself. Back up in the park she immediately saw another dog and had the audacity to act up again. Clearly she hadn't been humbled. But I had, and walked back through town, shorts and shirt dripping, bleeding toe sliding in my slippery wet flip flops (again, wasn't prepared for a LONG walk). We passed a woman with a dog, who Sula acted up with, and she looked at me and said "you've really got your hands full!" I am pretty sure she had seen the rescue/fall in the river "Yes we do" I replied, "yes we do."

The story goes on with me coming home, bathing Sula, and having the toilet bowl overflow, from the tank, not the bowl. Luckily I figured out what was happening before the second half of the bathroom floor got flooded. Sula tried to take off all soapy, but I caught her in time. Beatrice never took a nap and was screaming through all of it. It was basically the plot of "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day," yet Anthony and I were able to laugh through this one.

So, Marianne, have you stopped laughing yet? I know Maurice, I shouldn't let Sula drink out of rivers and ponds because of bacteria, and it was stupid to have her on the extendable leash. Lessons learned. I think I'm ready to go back to school now.

first steps

In the past three days, Beatrice has taken her first mini-steps, has been maneuvering her "walker" around like crazy and barely holding onto my hand when walking, so I suspected she was close. Well, about 15 minutes ago she just took five REAL steps across the room to Anthony and then kept standing and walking over and over (with falls in between). We'll see what tomorrow brings. I've been joking for months that I wished she'd wait until I go back to school to start walking, and she obliged, just three days early.

The Dirty Dozen

After a rough night, Beatrice can now flash a smile of twelve teeth, including one bottom molar.

Ouch, that one looks like it hurt!

***UPDATE 3 p.m: Make that a BAKER'S DOZEN! She screamed herself to sleep, revealing another bottom tooth I'd missed, so that makes six on top and seven on the bottom.

Let the Sun Shine

This shot, while beautiful, eerily reminds me of the movie Jesus Camp

This next series shows off her climbing skills which (sadly) improve and expand daily:

Playing on the rug. She now smiles for the camera when asked. So big!

We took an afternoon swim at Quaddick State Park last Friday afternoon. Another "cheeeese" shot:

Do you remember the last scene of 40-Year Old Virgin with Steve Carrell dancing around in pure ecstasy to the song Aquarius? There was another great one in the movie we saw last week, 500 Days of Summer, where the character played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt did the same after a blissful night. Well, that's me this morning after Beatrice just had an ELEVEN hour sleep IN HER CRIB! I could dance on the ceiling I'm so happy and rested. Not only that, but she's sporting a new top tooth. That makes six on the top and 4 1/2 (one is so, so close) on the bottom.

Totally unrelated, above are pics from the iPhone that got downloaded last night.

Mind the Gap!

Before Beatrice came home, one of the things I researched and angsted about the most was how she would sleep safely in our bed. We considered having her between us, on one side, we talked about ditching our bedframe and just putting the box springs and mattress on the floor, and looked at co-sleepers, some very expensive and the cheapest of which were not recommended for babies over six months old. In the end we moved the bed against one wall and decided she'd sleep between me and the wall. There was about a six-inch gap between the edge of the mattress, so I stuffed an old, very puffy down comforter in that gap so she wouldn't get stuck. Usually in the course of a night (or whatever fraction of the night she spends in our bed) Beatrice covers at least half of the area of our mattress. She is definitely a "mover and a shaker" and rolls, turns, kicks, headbutts, spreads her legs as widely as possible (and that's really, really wide), and basically tries to take over the entire space. However, recently, she's taken to confining herself into the six-inch gap and sleeping peacefully in that little nest. She used to cry when she got "stuck" in there and I'd immediately pull her out, but often lately I awaken to see this....

Veruca Salt

If it's possible to turn into a blueberry, Beatrice just may do so. She has eaten her weight in them this summer, and this morning we finally did one of the things left on my summer to-do list: blueberry picking in Woodstock. It is a perfect New England summer morning with brilliant sunshine and cool temps that will heat to mid-80's this afternoon, so I knew this, her 15-mo. birthday by the way, was the day. Beatrice was in heaven picking berries right off the bush, off the ground, and out of the basket which Anthony and I were attempting to fill. I was considering shutting her off of these delicacies since she's "gone green" for many days now, and I don't mean she's signed a contract for solar panels (though we have). I mean I'm changing four and five "green" diapers a day; however, I just can't deprive her since the season has only a couple of more weeks left in it. What I will NOT do, however, is let her feast on blueberries AND corn on the same day. That was a big mistake. Here she is blissfully happy sitting on the wet ground and eating her fill.

Lazy, steamy morning = blogging in the a/c

Since my last post, Beatrice was sick for the first time since we've been with her. Two days after her shots, she woke up with a runny nose and the next 3 days she was a "glazed donut" as our friend Phyllis accurately described, with alternating and sometimes simultaneous drippings come out of her eyes, nose and mouth. Sorry if that's TMI. She was so pathetic looking and I almost took and posted a photo but I decided that would be just downright cruel. If it weren't for the fact that all 3 of our guests the weekend reported have a cold when they got back home, I'd have thought it was due to shots and/or teething (3 more seem to be just on the cusp of breaking through), but perhaps it was a cold after all since as of this morning Anthony has a sore throat. Regardless, she continues to be a little stuffed up, but in amuch better mood and resuming normal activity level since the weekend. She never had a fever through the whole ordeal. We have no doubt this little cookie of ours is TOUGH physically. To have survived all that we assume she was exposed to during 11-ish months in an orphanage, we know her immunities must be strong. The hardest thing about last week was she got a touch of that nasty rash on her cheeks that appeared in the heartbreaking photos we got of her last December. I smothered her with Aquaphor many times a day and it's almost gone, but her face is so sensitive and moisture or sun or any one of a number of things seems to trigger this rash. I guess we will know more next month when she gets more shots whether or not this is the way she typically reacts. She was unusually needy and clingy to me during the roughest of the days and I was pretty tired. My sister Louise and Anthony decided it was time for Anthony and I to get away for a couple of hours, which we did last Saturday night after B. went to sleep. It was great to get out and walk around at Riverfire here in town and she never made a peep while we were gone. Of course, less than 2 minutes after we arrived home, she screamed for me, but it was a nice evening anyway. We're planning on going out again for a bit this Friday as well. Yesterday, we visited with my college friends Barb and Benedetta, and Ben's six wonderful children. Beatrice loved all of them and she didn't have a lack of attention for 2 seconds! I sure wish they lived closer since I'd have my pick of nannies, all superbly qualified. Tomorrow we plan on heading to Maine for the day to see her BFF's Kristin and Erik, whom I also would love to have nearby. I am keenly aware that my summer as stay-at-home mom is quickly drawing to a close. I return to school full-time in 13 days and can now at least write that without sobbing. I'm trying to savor each of these remaining days and just take one day at a time. Here is a photo of her taken just before I typed this. She looks so big to me, her skin has become a beautiful brown in her brief time in the sun, and her hair keeps growing quickly. The other shot is so I remember how small her feet really were/are. She's been barefoot most of the summer and the other day I took out some shoes, certain that the size 2's would be tight and the bigger ones might fit, but she still looks like Aladdin in the size 6-12 mo. Robeez and her little pink Cinderella ballet slippers still fit like a glove. We got one of those clay impression kits to put her hand or footprint in, but when we went to do recently, it was all crumbly and dried up, so this photo will have to serve as a keepsake. Here's a video as well of her newest "talent:" self-feeding with silverware. It's one of those things that I'd rather not have to teach her since the transition is not fun to clean up all the time, but she's very proud and I suppose I can't feed her or let her eat with her hands her whole life. Note the way she forcefully extends the spoon outward for a reloading.

They Meet at Last

Here they are sharing toys

Teasing us with standing, but no steps taken...

Cutie pie

Showin' off his cool shorts

Enjoying Fleet Foxes

Taking a break with Daddy

In the yard tonight......(yes, same dress as Saturday...practical for dr.'s appointment)

"How old are you, Beatrice?"


What a wonderful 4 days we had with Jonathan and his family. We visited Providence, shopped in Worcester, enjoyed Vietnamese, Thai, and Middle Eastern food, hung out talking about all things from ridiculous to serious, and enjoyed the music festival under a cloudless blue sky that looked like a movie backdrop. A highlight was holding my daughter close to the stage while singing along with Pete Seeger as he played "Turn, Turn, Turn." The babies alternated with ignoring each other, playing cooperatively, clocking each other with blocks and grabbing each other by the shirt and pulling hair, and pretend feeding each other and holding hands. The adults did pretty much the same! But seriously, it's amazing how many common parenting habits/philosophies we have. We sure wish they lived closer, for our children's sake as well as our own. I wish I had taken more photos, but I was too busy enjoying myself to do so. T and B, if you have some good ones, please send them our way!

Beatrice got two shots today, her first ones since being with us. She screamed for a few seconds and then smiled through the tears and waved bye-bye and even blew a kiss to the nurse. Resilient, thy name is Beatrice. She took a long afternoon nap and has been in a very good mood, so hopefully the night will go well too and all her future post-shot days will be like this. By the way, she is now tipping the scales at a whopping 19.4 pounds and is 29 inches tall. She has gained 1.2 pounds and grown 1 inch in the nearly 4-months with us. That's incredible because most people gain that after just one meal in our home.

I mowed the lawn this afternoon and the yard looked beautiful. The purple in her dress matched the purple in the yard, so I got the camera out......