Fifteen minutes of a Saturday afternoon

1:40  Beatrice is playing pretend camping in the piano room.  She and I hauled water from the nearby creek, she boiled it for tea and made steamed cupcakes.  I got the camera out and she was annoyed, exclaiming "You already have enough pictures of me!"  She's right, but she had the cutest braid buns in for dance this morning which I just had to take a shot of.  Of course you can't see them, but you can see this:

and this:

1:50 She sits in my lap and starts an old ritual we haven't done in a while, which is gently touching foreheads,

then noses,

then lips, but the camera was too slow for our kiss!

1:50 I start rubbing her back.  She tells me I'm not doing it right and that I should scratch with my nails, so I do, and I feel her body becoming very heavy.  I mouth to Anthony that I think she may fall asleep in my arms, which would shock me because I can't remember the last time that happened.

1:55 Fast asleep.  This may very well be the last time this happens.  Glad the camera and Anthony were nearby.

Spring Play

Dear Beatrice,

Yesterday morning your class performed a spring play.  You were brilliant in it!  You smiled.  You were focused. Confident.  Enjoyed yourself.  You stayed on your mark (masking tape) on stage.  You knew every word of every song.  You belted it out in a way in which Ethel Merman would have been proud.  You commanded attention from the audience members, and each smiled while they watched you.  You had incredible stage presence. You were the talk of the show. I couldn't believe what difference a year made.  Oh, you were great last year too, but at 3 1/2, it was hard for you to keep up with the speed of the music, remember all the lyrics, and at that point you were more interested in pretend cooking than in what was going on.  But now you are acting like a 5-year old more and more every single day.  You are enjoying life at a new level, and it so much fun to watch you and be in your presence. If only Daddy had come at the right time with the camera and video, then we'd have more to remember it by than this one photo of you on stage after the show was done! If only Mama had read the memo more carefully to see that it was a non-uniform day and had she dressed you in a fun spring outfit like the other kids, then maybe you wouldn't have been the only drably dressed one in the bunch!  You never mentioned either of those things though, my sweet girl.  You see the best in us all the time.  Thank you for being you. You are the star of our show every single day.

Love, Mama

Four Things I Want to Remember

a) The moment of bliss I felt as Beatrice and I drove to school today. We had Raffi's "All I Need" blaring in my car and the two of us were singing.  She is really singing these days, knowing the lyrics and keeping the time and tune better and better, and the heartfelt ways she sang the words to this song told me they are  how she truly feels every day:
"All I really need is a song in my heart, food in my belly, and love in my family, all I really need is a song in my heart, and love in my family....." Music, food, and our family----no doubt, three of her greatest joys in life.

b)We had an Indian classic dancer perform at my school yesterday.  She was amazing, and Beatrice and Anthony came to watch before Bea headed into her school late.  I introduced them after the show before they left.  Afterward, Rachna asked me if Beatrice danced.  She quite seriously and genuinely told me that she sees a true dancer in Bea, in her body frame, her beauty, and the unique way she carries herself and moves.  I don't know how long Beatrice will continue dance.  We are not pushing her, but Anthony and I have commented frequently to each other how graceful she is, and what good rhythm she has. To have this professional who's been dancing over 40-years make that statement with no initiation from me was interesting.  Just writing it down for posterity in case my girl turns out to be a dancer...Rachna Agrawal discovered her first!

c) Beatrice washed the dishes for the first time. Except for the time we went camping and she and I did them in the outdoors, we've avoided this because the sink is high, of course it takes longer than if we do them, and we have mostly heavy and breakable dishes. Anthony said it as a joke, and she called his bluff.  She loved it and did quite a good job.  This may be the start of a trend.  We'll see how long the love of this chore lasts, but for now we're trying to present it as a really fun thing, and soothing with the warm water.  Again writing it down for documentation, Beatrice's first real dishwashing job was done at the age of 4.11!

d) I said goodbye to my 17-year old Honda Accord today.  That car has been with me since I am 27 years old, seems like a lifetime ago.  It drove me on dates, to my weddings, to my mother's funeral, to my races and marathon, to chemo and radiation treatments for both my parents, to pick up our dog.  I used to wash and vacuum it religiously. I swear I could still smell that new car smell once in a while even recently.  Eventually bumper stickers got put on, scratches and stains didn't get removed, pieces of plastic fell off, cruise control stopped working, a carseat was installed, and coffee and goldfish crumbs spilled onto the seats.  "Hillary" never broke down.  Started for me every single day. Still had a lot of oomph in her engine.  A great car.  But it's time for something different which I can drive farther with less worry, so enter a silver 2012 Honda Civic which gets 40 mpg. Beatrice is devastated because there's no cassette player in it to play her multiple Raffi tapes.  I've entered the world of CD players, needle-less speedometers,  keyless entry, and once again, worrying daily about when and where that first ding is going to happen.  I hope "Pearl" or "Mabel" (haven't settled on a name yet) will be around long enough for Beatrice to learn to drive.

Artist in Hijab

It's India Week at my school and I'm having fun dressing up in some of my outfits I bought when I visited the Middle East in 2003 (?)  Beatrice looked to cute to not photograph when she wrapped my scarf around her head:

When I was doing email after dinner, she presented me with this envelope:

Inside was a picture of me.  She described it--"that is you in a dress wearing lots of makeup and with lots of fancy things and with your fiery eyes!" I think she means tired.  I'll have to check a mirror to see if she means bloodshot too, but I'll take "fiery!"

Cell Phone Photo Dump

I checked through Anthony's cell today, and found some shots of recent events.  Here are two from a stop at the park on a springlike day (finally!)

During a recent 1/2 day of school, Rowan came over for a playmate.  They all had a blast, except for Anthony who panicked when he couldn't find Rowan for 10 minutes.  (She was playing hide and seek,  and had a REALLY good hiding spot)

     This morning we finally got to planting some seeds for some veggies and herbs:

Fingers crossed that we'll have some seedlings to put in the garden in 6 weeks or so!

It's my big International Week project this week, and I'm getting my clothes ready to present India:

Beatrice thought this dupatta was just a blast!

But not nearly as much fun as getting henna put on!

Last but not least, I found this video that Anthony took of me reading to Bea at bedtime.  It's one of those "normal" moments that you take for granted and then it disappears one day and you ache to get that time back. Tomorrow is our four year anniversary of Beatrice being placed in our arms.  Four years.  I don't know how that happened, but I know I look back at this blog and read about wondrous little moments that I'd  forgotten in this aging brain of mine. Moments that have molded Beatrice, moments that are etched into our hearts, but not necessarily details that remain in my brain.  I'm so glad he recorded this important daily (for now) ritual: