I hate reality television

It's true, ever since the cosmic shift in television toward reality TV, I watch a whole lot less of it overall. Perhaps it's because of my work, where all I do is hear the dirty and intimate details of people's lives, or maybe I just find it really, really strange at how people's boundaries and borders have just disappeared in the past decade or more, and our society has dehumanized itself and transformed real social contact into bytes of information sent via a computer screen or other electronic media. Anyway, it's occurred to me that this blog is, or could become, in many ways like those shows. I knew it long ago and I've made partial attempts to make it more private, initiating a login, and making sure I know exactly who is reading on a regular basis. Still though I find myself editing what I say because I am basically broadcasting my daughter's life to others, which is not fair to her and which really goes against my core beliefs. I set deadlines for ending it, saying I'd only blog until her birthday, until I go back to work, until she's two....but I am a creature of routine and habit, and I admit I got oddly addicted to it too. I love writing, especially when I have the time and can actually write a coherent post, and maybe I'll start another blog sometime about something less personal than my child. I love reading other people's blogs, but this one no longer feels right.

We are nearing the one year anniversary of our family's birth, and the time has come. I started this blog as a way of chronicaling our trip to Vietnam and continued it as a way to have a journal/diary for Beatrice. I have decided to continue the "diary" form in a different format, one which is not internet based, and will post photos only on this blog from now on. I'll see how that feels. For those of you whose only contact with me is this blog, I encourage you to please email me anytime to keep in touch with us. I am a little sad to end this phase, just like I was a little sad to break down the crib last weekend, and even sadder to start sorting through Beatrice's now-outgrown clothes to give away to some new lives who are on the way. This blog will always represent the most special time of my life, the anticipation of, arrival, and first year of life with my daughter, the first year of Bizou's journey.